Thoughts on.... From my journal on 11/19/11

From my journal on 11/19/11
My prayer, in the midst of trying to adjust and feeling overwhelmed in a new (in every way) world:
"Lord, I need you to lead me. The enemy wants to steal my peace by keeping me distracted when I try to do too much. I will aggressively pursue peace here in Cameroon. Show me only what you want me to do here. Give me the freedom to do just and only those things, and free me from feeling guilty for not doing the things you do not call me to do. Amen."

My time in Cameroon was used to show my task-oriented self what a work-a-holic I was/am. It also illuminated my addiction to the pace of life in America.
Africa is slow - well at least it was in the rainforest of Cameroon.
Being in such a starkly different environment was like what I have heard drug withdrawals are like. And it was rough for a while as I made it my daily work to adjust to this new, other, different world. But then, one day, the withdrawals were over. And it was beautiful! I had time!
I had time to read my Bible. I had time to intercede and pray for friends and family. I had time to read for my general enjoyment and growth. I had time to be creative - it was SO WONDERFUL!
I have managed to cultivate most of those habits now that I am settled in back here at home. Still working on some aspects (like getting enough physical activity). But I have an awareness I never before had about my time.
Now that I am (and have been for a while) back in the States, I am glad that I cannot adjust back to American pace. And it is not just that I liked "African time" (like island time) because of my running late tendencies.
I actually get to most things relatively on time these days - because I don't say yes to everything anymore.
Before, when I was in the States, I had learned the value of saying no, and had used it some. But I still said yes to far too much, and was always stressed and usually late. I didn't give people the time and my undivided attention that they deserved, because I was checking off hang outs like tasks on a to-do list. Not that I didn't love my time with people, but I couldn't get out of that mindset.
It is funny now, because people are like, "Oh, when you aren't busy, let me know!"
And I try to tell them, "I am actually not busy at all. I am home a lot. I work some during the day, but I have a lot of availability generally."
It feels really good, really freeing to say that.
So, if you want to hang out, you know how to reach me. I am available. :-)